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The run up to Christmas & New Years is an intensely booze orientated time of year. It feels like everyone is drinking. Our meet-ups revolve around cosy pubs & rowdy bars, everyone starts stocking up on alcohol, even colleagues that typically don’t drink get blackout at the office Christmas party. As a non drinker, this can at times feel isolating, but it’s also quite eye opening. This is the one time of year where it feels like everyone around us is drinking & we really begin to see just how engrained into our society alcohol really is. Getting through your first sober festive season can feel challenging, but we’ve got you. Read on for tips on how to survive sober Christmas.

Disclosure: This article may contain affiliate links meaning I gain commission if you purchase through my links, at no cost to you.

1. Choose Your Events Carefully

December is socially one of the busiest times of the year. Work events, family gatherings, meet ups with friends, New Years… you may even have a wedding coming up! It can be a little overwhelming.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, know that you absolutely do not need to attend everything. If you’re absolutely dreading a night out with colleagues you used to get loose with, don’t go! It might feel dishonest to make up an excuse, but you’d only be disrespecting yourself by going. A big part of walking away from alcohol is becoming aware of prior negative behaviours & working towards changing them. People pleasing is a big one! So when faced with an event, ask yourself… do I want to go to this or am I only going to please X?

Attend the events your most excited about, with the people you love and trust the most.

2. Find Your Fun

Hangovers, puffy eyes, headaches, wasted days… doesn’t actually sound that fun does it? But there’s so much on during the festive period, you just need to find your fun. Christmas markets, Christmas Fairs (like winter wonderland), theatre’s, pantomimes, Christmas themed secret cinema’s, Christmas light trails, tree decorating, movies at home, hot chocolate, baking, donating, crafts, make AF mulled wine & cider (check out our recipes here and here). Plan games nights with friends and if you’re able to, perhaps host a festive night. If you’ve saved some money from not drinking this year, you might even treat yourself to a little Christmas weekend getaway to a European city to experience the Christmas markets there.

3. Focus on the Perks

It’s important to appreciate the things that can be gained by not drinking, as opposed to thinking about what we think we’re missing. By staying sober this Christmas:

• Alcohol won’t be interfering with your sleep… You may be surprised by how well you can show up to all the events whilst still going about your day to day & not feeling exhausted!
• Nothing is better for your immune system then good recovery rest, so you’re less likely to get sick at a time when it feels like everyone is coming down with something.
• Zero hangovers (who knew they were optional all along!).
• You can make the most of the gym being quieter as the drinkers gradually drop out.
• No alcohol = consuming less calories. From the drink & the hangover binges too.
• Save money, from drinks & the impulsivity that normally comes with them for the ride.
• Get ready to enter a new year not feeling like absolute death.
• You won’t get drunk and make a tit of yourself.
• Spend the month not feeling like you’re treading water trying to keep afloat.
• Be more present for those around you. If you have little ones yourself, or in the family, this is a great time to experience the magic of Christmas like a kid again and show up for the things you’d normally have pied off to go to the pub. Bake the cookies, make tree decorations, go visit Santa & watch your favourite Christmas movies.

4. Make Alcohol Free Alternatives

Staying sober at Christmas can be challenging because even the food is loaded up with booze! Alcohol free Christmas puddings, trifles, mince pies, the list goes on. How about getting your baking hat on & making some inclusive bakes – sober & child friendly?

There are a tonne of alcohol free festive drink recipes to be made too! Hot chocolates, mulled AF wine, mulled AF cider, homemade AF Bailey’s. Find what you love & search for alcohol free alternatives to help you stay sober without feeling like you’re missing out.

5. Think Your FOMA Through – Play the Tape

Fear of missing alcohol? Playing the tape forward helps to tackle alcohol cravings. When you think that maybe you could just have one drink and it would be fine, you imagine how the night would go if you did, the impact it would have on you, and those around you.

For example: your one drink would turn into more – you’ve crossed that line now anyway so you might as well right? You get really drunk and spend money you don’t have, probably end up being sick and not remembering most of the night. You’ll stay up later than planned, have a terrible nights sleep, have a hangover from hell and not show up for yourself/friend/family for your plans tomorrow. You’ll feel like crap, be really disappointed with yourself & suffer from hangxiety for days. And, it will feel really crappy setting your sobriety timer back to day 0.

6. Stay on Track with Your Goals

December is a time when a lot of goals get put on the backburner. Whether it’s maintaining your exercise regime, focussing on your diet, sticking to your budget, or perhaps progressing on more creative tasks, it can feel rewarding to continue working towards your goals during a time when the majority of people stop. Practice the art of consistency & reap the rewards entering the New Year on track rather than bloated & full of remorse!

7. Remember Your Why

You decided to stop drinking for reason, now is a good time to remember why. Maybe you have it written down somewhere & if you don’t, you should! The longer we go without alcohol, the more harmless it can seem. Was it really all that bad? Didn’t we have fun with it sometimes? These are all thoughts that need to be shut down, and your why should do just that.

8. Brush Up on Your Knowledge

When we first quit drinking many of us immerse ourselves in sobriety, listening to podcasts & reading quit lit. After a while, as we grow more comfortable with sober living, we tend to put down the resources. Now is the perfect time to pick them up again! For a fresh dose of why alcohol sucks, check out or post: 7 Quit Lit Books That Will Change Your Life.

9. Find Support

If your surrounded by big drinkers a lot at Christmas, it can be very challenging in multiple ways. Even if you are 100% confident in your sobriety, it can be painful to be around those who enjoy taking it too far & perhaps cause arguments & drama.

It might be unpleasant to be around & you might have no way to avoid it. In this scenario, I recommend reaching out for support. Check out a sobriety support group like Cuppa Community. Find a sober buddy using the friend finder function on Sober Socials, or call a close friend who empaphises for a chat. Talking about anticipated difficulties, your worries & coming up with a plan on how to handle worst case scenarios can enable you to feel prepared and more calm. A problem shared is a problem halved & you’ll feel less alone speaking with people going through exactly the same thing as you.

10. Set Boundaries

Honestly, it will liberate you. Setting time limits on events or telling yourself if ‘x’ happens, I’ll make my excuses & go home can confirm to you what rules shouldn’t be crossed. This is great to stop your concerns snowballing. Set your boundaries & stand by them.

Whatever you’re most worried about, figure out how you could resolve it & set boundaries – communicate them to others if you have to. You don’t have to put up with anything that makes you feel uneasy, is disrespectful or just isn’t serving you.

For example, if you have a family member that always calls you boring for not drinking, talk to them & tell them that it upsets or embarrasses you when they say that. You’d appreciate it if they could make a special effort over Christmas to not make those comments and that if they do, you will leave, or they will have to leave (depending on whose hosting!). The most important thing is that you stand by whatever boundaries you set. If the line is crossed, you must take action.

11. Make Time For Yourself

This time of year can be really exhausting & overwhelming. Make sure you take time to do things that calm you, help you unwind and feel relaxed. Even if it’s a 3 minute meditation. Here are some ideas on how to indulge in little acts of self-care to make sure your cup is full:

• Practice daily meditation (Headspace* is good for guided, Oak is good for unguided).
• Take music into the bathroom & have a shower or bath, use a body scrub or hair mask
• Mini pamper sessions – face mask, or do your nails
• Light the fancy candle, create some calming ambience
• Put your phone on flight mode for 1 hour & read or truly immerse yourself in a film
• Go to bed early
• Cook your favorite meal
• Do some yoga – Adriene’s 10 minute self care is perfection
• Plan the rest of the year so you know exactly what, when & where – remove info from your brain!
• Spend time alone
• Set boundaries!

*Try Headspace premium free for 30 days using this link. Remember to cancel before you’re charged!

12. Drink Non-Alcoholic

There are a lot of alcohol traditions surrounding Christmas time, it’s completely up to you if you want to keep them or break them. Did you always drink mulled wine on Christmas eve? Pop a bottle of champagne in the morning? Make cocktails after dinner? If you feel comfortable doing so, continue the traditions with alcohol free alternatives! It can feel lonely when everyone is having glasses of fizz passed round to them, so prepare yourself for those moments as best you can.

13. Be Prepared

It’s so true, failing to prepare is preparing to fail! Don’t turn up to events just expecting alcohol free options. You must prepare! Bring your own if you have to – if the event is at a venue, call ahead & speak to them about putting some fizz behind the bar for you. Look at menu’s. Get excited about what you can have.

Feeling a part of the night can make all the difference. If there’s nothing to drink but water or coke, it can feel disheartening when everyone around you is sipping on wine & fizz. Avoid this scenario by being prepared.

Sober Christmas

Getting through December & Christmas sober is something you can be really proud of yourself for doing. There’s an enormous amount of pressure on us to drink around this time of year & fulfilling a promise to yourself is far more rewarding than drunken nights your won’t remember & ruined plans! Good Luck!

FAQ

My family drink so much at Christmas, how do I handle being around it?

Do you have to? If yes then boundaries will be your best friend. If you’re comfortable discussing it, you could talk with family members in advance and lay it on the line. Be honest & open, tell them how serious you are about not drinking & that you would appreciate it if they could be sure not to offer or try to persuade you to drink. Make sure they know that you appreciate they might just be being polite but that you’re not interested & will bring plenty of AF options to drink.

If your family are respectful of your decision to drink, there’s not much you can do with regards to their drinking. All you can do is look after yourself. If you’re feeling triggered or stressed by the atmosphere, make yourself scarce for an hour, go for a walk or feign a headache and ask to lie down for a bit. Sometimes a little space away can help you to regroup.

I’m worried about an event coming up, how can I prepare?

Well first of all, we always ask ourselves… do I have to go? If it’s something you really want to go to, you should be excited – not worried.

If you do want to go but are just worrying about being the only sober person, think carefully before you proceed. But, if there is any chance you think you’ll crack and drink due to nerves, social anxiety or peer pressure, I do advise you not to go until you feel confident enough. It may feel dishonest, but make an excuse! Protecting yourself comes first.

If you know you’re 100% not going to drink but just don’t know what to expect, brush up on some reading or a sober podcast that day & remember your why. Make sure you have something yummy to drink and remember – no one is watching you! Once others have had a couple of drinks & are starting to dance & open up more, they will completely forget you’re not in the same headspace – people forget your sober. Plus, once a party is vibing, it can be quite infectious. You’ll find yourself laughing & dancing along like everyone else. If you don’t feel like that & you’re not having a good time – leave! Go home, decompress, do something for yourself & be proud you didn’t drink.

Where Can I get More Information or Support?

For links to charities, sober community groups, helplines or sites to locate therapists check out our resources page here.