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My Story

My story probably isn’t too different from yours. I began drinking in my early teens with friends. Come the weekend, we drank what we could get our hands on. As I got older, I would hang out in pubs and bars with friends and when I got to uni, I was a serial socialiser. I’d be out drinking 4 or 5 nights a week. I had no off switch. More alcohol equaled more fun in my head and I was lucky if I didn’t end the night with my head down the toilet. I rarely remembered my nights out, suffering from blackouts more often than not. (I once asked a guy on a night out his name only to be told, before he stormed off, that he had introduced himself to me 5 times in the past).

As I got older, the frequency of my nights out diminished, but my propensity to drink too much stayed the same. By now I had normalised blackouts and if I had an event coming up I’d accept the next day (and sometimes the day after that) would be a right off. I turned up to work and special events worst for wear (something that makes me cringe now). By the time Covid rolled around in 2020, I found myself sipping a glass of wine at the end of the work day in lieu of physically walking out of the office.

When I wasn’t drinking, I was grappling with anxiety, which I now recognise as ‘Hangxiety’. I wanted to improve my health, sleep, fitness, finances & more but everything would get placed on the back burner whilst I dealt with just keeping afloat.

Initially, I stopped drinking for 3 months in 2020 after reading back through my journal. I was shocked to read how much I had written about alcohol. Wishing I hadn’t drank, and writing future broken promises to not drink. I was miserable! I found fulfilment in my 3 months AF and went back to drinking determined to change my habits.

Fast forward to the end of 2021 & my wish to change my drinking habits was just another broken promise to myself. In fact, I had completely forgotten I’d ever taken a break! I had gone right back to the misery cycle of drinking too much & regretting it. I started working with a therapist who suggest I quit drinking. I immediately felt resistance – how could I give it up completely? No one went to events sober if they didn’t have to!

But, the more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I felt. I thought about my hesitancy, knowing that resistance is normally a barrier to growth. I began listening to podcasts & reading books about going sober – something I had failed to do in 2020. Within a week, my mind was made up. I would quit for a year. I began to feel excited about January 1st. I looked forward to all of the challenges I would have to face.

Giving up alcohol has done wonders for my mental health. I have experienced a lot of personal growth (now I can’t lean on alcohol whenever a difficulty arises). It’s made me stronger in every sense of the word. I have boundaries, I show up for myself, I do what I say I’m going to do and I am more present than I have ever been. The cork has been removed & my dreams & aspirations have been given room to breath.

I launched Be Sober AF because I’m confident there are hundreds of people out there with a story like mine, who have never considered a life without alcohol. And, certainly never considered how amazing an AF life can truly be. I hope you find the content here helpful.